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Wisconsin, the Dairy State, is big on tourism. A favorite vacation spot for residents of the Midwest, Wisconsin has green rolling hills, many lakes, and breathtaking scenery. It also has more than its fair share of tacky attractions. You'll see more cheese shops with giant fiberglass mice than you thought existed in the entire world.
Baen's Game Farm is a private zoo, run by by a couple in their 80s. There was no lion show while I was there (I was the only visitor), but I did get to see the large collection of exotic and not-so-exotic animals.
Guests are given a "can of corn" (mine was a plastic yogurt cup) to feed the animals. I was accompanied by Mrs. Baen through most of the grounds.
This is one of my favorite attractions. Just be sure to bring some moist towelettes for washing your hands. Many of the animals are sloppy when licking the corn out of your palm, and wiping your hand on a water buffalo will not get it clean. Trust me.
Badger Country is actually between Birnamwood and Aniwa on U.S. 45, but I've listed it under Birnamwood.
The Circus World Museum is, well, a big circus museum. Lots of stuff, but I didn't have time to go in, so I just photographed it from the parking lot.
See also North Freedom.
Just north of Beloit on U.S. 51 is the Circus Drive In. Curb service is provided by women who were probably doing it in the 50s. Buy a souvenir t-shirt and get a discount every visit all year!
Badger Country is a gas station. And a convenience store. And an ice cream parlor. And a miniature golf course.
There is a big fake log covering the pumps with two large weasels on it, but, more importantly, the main building is shaped like a mound of earth, and there is a huge giant badger sticking his head out!
The Pines Lodge has giant arrows sticking out of it, but, even better, it has a big orange moose and a huge deer. There's also a big mouse somewhere around here.
Cave of the Mounds was the first show cave I visited and is still a favorite. It has no natural entrance, so there is no graffiti, and most of the formations are still "alive".
Admission is a bit steep for a show cave, but it's worth the money.
This small town boasts the Parade of Presidents down Main Street. This project, originally done for the nation's bicentennial (what else?) comprises large red, white, and blue shields on light posts, each boasting the name of a president of the country. There's also a tacky mural on a building on the north side of town (facing north).
At Interstate 90 De Forest has two large fiberglass animals: a pink elephant wearing mirrored sunglasses and Sissy, the formerly talking cow.
Sissy used to talk, I was assured at the Ehlenbach Cheese Chalet, but "somebody shot its voice out" several years ago.
See Wisconsin Dells.
The Grotto on the Holy Ghost Parish grounds is one of the most famous of the "glass and rocks stuck in cement" gardens in Wisconsin. What sets the Dickeyville Grotto apart is the density of the bits of glass and other objects: very little of the mortar shows through. You'll find Jesus, Mary, and lots of saints portrayed, as well as many important words. Admission is free, but they do request a donation. The gift show is open from 9am to 7pm every day from May 1st until October 31st. Guided tours are available from 10am to 6pm.
There are some nice parks near Eagle, but I like the Smiley Face Water Tower.
Fountain City is a pretty town, with the Mississippi River to the west and tall bluffs to the east.
A few years a large boulder rolled off one of the bluffs. It broken into pieces on the way down, leaving a huge wheel-like disc rolling down the hill like a wheel from the comic strip BC. It crashed into a house.
Disaster? No! Tourist attraction! When I saw the Rock in the House three years ago the owner was still wrestling with the town about advertising, but for a few dollars visitors can walk around and see the mess.
Just up the road is the Prairie Moon Grotto, another concrete-rock-and-glass sculpture park. The dinosaurs are all concrete and look out of place, but the rest is nice.
The centerpiece of the National Fresh Water Fishing Hall of Fame is a four-story-tall muskie, not just the largest fish in the world but the largest fiberglass structure of any kind (made by the folks in Sparta, of course). The grounds are full of smaller giant fish, too. Inside you'll find many things, including antique boat motors and a particularly nice display of bad taxidermy.
Be sure to stop by the Moccasin Bar for a cold beer and a gawk at the dioramas of mounted animals. Some are of nature scenes, but many feature weasels, foxes, badgers, and the like dressed in clothes and acting out humorous scenes (a party, a boxing match, a courtroom, etc.).
Bessie the Cow keeps watch over the parking lot of the Janesville Oasis motel/restaurant/cheese shop. One of her horns and two of her teats are held together with duct tape, but she's got a big yellow Cheesehead hat strapped to her head.
There's also a Craig High School in Janesville, which I liked, since the big "Welcome To Craig" sign made me feel right at home.
In a park downtown, along the Mississippi, you'll find a giant statue of Hiawatha.
At the G. Heileman Brewery is the World's Largest Six Pack of Beer. You can also get all the free artesian water you can carry from a tap (be prepared to wait in line behind people filling five gallon jugs).
You have to keep your eyes open to see where Lake Delton ends and the Wisconsin Dells begins, so I've just lumped those things in the Dells section.
Lodi is the Home of Susie the Duck. There's a bridge downtown with that written in wrought iron. Walk down the path to the water and you can see Susie's ceremonial roost. There are also some coin-operated corn machines.
At the southern intersection of U.S. 14 and U.S. 12/18 are some big billiard balls.
The Essen Haus, a few blocks from the capitol, features bartenders in lederhosen and waitresses with impressive busts and flowers in their hair. German beer is sold in liter mugs. Oh, they have food, too.
The truck stop south of the I-94 interchange has a full-sized eighteen wheeler for a sign, appearing to drive into the sky.
North of the interchange is a quality tourist gift shop with a nice fiberglass mouse. There's also a cheese shop with a sign bigger than the store.
The Brooks Stevens Auto Collection is a pretty neat collection of cars. Brooks Stevens was an industrial designer. He was the one that thought peanut butter should come in wide-mouthed jars. He designed a Harley Davidson motorcycle and an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. None of those are here, though. This is just the results of his car-collecting hobby.
The Capital City Brewery gives tours.
To most people Milwaukee means one thing, beer. Well, that and Happy Days.
There are other things to do in Milwaukee besides visit breweries. You can also go to bars and drink beer.
The Safe House is my favorite. The theme is spy. While Very Important Operatives (like me) can use the secret entrance, most people enter through the door marked International Exports Ltd.
Here a receptionist will take your money and ask your business. After proving you are a spy you are admitted through a secret passage into the bar.
On your first visit be sure to track down all the "spy features" listed on the drink menu. Then use the secret escape phone booth to make your getaway.
The Huber brewery is here, but I've never visited. What I have done is stop at Baumgartner's at every opportunity.
Baumgartner's is a cheese shop in the front and a bar in the back. The main item on the menu is the cheese sandwich, made with your choice of cheese. It's just a slab of cheese between two slices of rye bread, sliced and served on a piece of paper. Add some brown mustard and a locally-made Huber beer and you've got a meal.
This is the self-proclaimed Troll Capital of the World. Banners hanging from street lights identifying Main Street as the Trollway. Chain saw sculptures of trolls appear up and down this main drag.
Mount Horeb Mustard Museum - A huge selection of mustards, most just to gawk at, but many to buy (it is a store above all else). Also many hot sauces and other condiments. Just west of the main intersection on Main Street on the south side of the street. Free admission.
Wisconsin Folk Museum - Closed the last time I visited. See a furry trout, many moving weather vanes, and more chains whittled from single pieces of wood than you've dreamed about. Also a great source for authentic "Things sure are big here" postcards. Free but a donation is suggested.
Just east of town is Chatty Belle, the World's Largest Talking Cow (although the talking part was broken when I visited). Chatty Belle was part of the Wisconsin display at the 1964 World's Fair. The pavilion from the fair is here, too, as is the trailer that once contained the World's Largest Cheese. They ate the cheese back in the '60s, but there's a replica in the trailer.
New Glarus has adopted a Swiss theme, which is entertaining for a little while. Of more interest is the New Glarus Brewing Company.
Delaney's Surplus is technically in North Freedom, but it's actually on U.S. 12 between Sauk City and Baraboo, right across from the U.S. Army's Badger munitions plant. It is home to a bunch of industrial-sized welded folk art by Tom Every.
I stumbled upon these works, which are impossible to miss from 12, but have since found several web references (check out http://www.folkart.org). These are big works made of scrap metal. You'll probably see the giant heart-and-arrow first.
Pepin is very near the birthplace of Laura Ingalls Wilder, who, for all the men in the audience (I think all the women already know), wrote the Little House on the Prairie books. I don't think the stories started until they moved to Minnesota and then to South Dakota, but that hasn't stopped Pepin from putting up a plaque and naming a park.
The biggest tourist attraction in Platteville is the Chicago Bears training camp every summer. The other big things are
The Mining Museum - Go down into a 150 year old lead and zinc mine. Ride a little train. Find out the origin of the term Wisconsin Badger. See lots of mannequins in authentic period mining gear. It's like going in a cave, but not as pretty. Why go? Because your small admission fee also gets you into the
Rollo Jamison Museum - Rollo Jamison, born in Beetown, Wisconsin, in 1899, liked to collect stuff. In fact, he collected over 20,000 things. In the museum you'll find carriages, farm tools, a full tavern and a general store, musical instruments, cameras and photographs, dresses, paintings, and all kinds of stuff. (608) 348-3301. Open 9-5 May through October, with some stuff open 9-4 M-F the rest of the year. Closed on New Year's Day, Good Friday, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving Day and the day after, and Christmas and the day before.
Mound View Cheese House on 151 East. Just another Wisconsin cheese shop, but I really like the signs for this one, and you'll drive right by on your way to see the
World's Largest Letter M - On the side of a large hill, the M stands for Mining, since the University of Wisconsin - Pioneer Campus used to be the Wisconsin Mining School. They sometimes light it at night.
The Hodag is a mythical beast that supposedly put fear into the hearts of loggers in the late 19th century. You can find a statue in the park, a painting in the McDonald's, and postcards in the Hallmark shop in the outlet mall.
Every Labor Day weekend Sauk City hosts the Wisconsin Cow Chip Throwing Competition. I haven't made it yet, but the signs are fun.
See also North Freedom.
Sparta is the Bicycling Capital of America, according to the banners all over town. They've got a big fiberglass statue of a man on an old-fashioned bicycle to prove it. They've also got a big fiberglass Spartan soldier in front of the high school. How does Sparta rate two big statues? They were donated by their most famous local company,
F.A.S.T. (Fiberglass Animals, Statues, and Trademarks), the country's leading maker of fiberglass statuary.
Even if F.A.S.T. isn't open, you really must visit to walk around the grounds. Scattered in a very haphazard fashion are a couple of acres of samples, molds, and broken statues. You'll find deer and Darth Vader, bears and Big Boys, gorillas and ice cream cones.
If they are open, buy a catalog! It's only a few bucks.
The Paul and Matilda Wegner Grotto, known locally as the Little Glass Church, is located just north of Sparta. Inspired by grotto in Dickeyville, Paul Wegner spent the years after his retirement constructing concrete, stone, and broken glass things, including a little chapel and a cruise ship. I particularly like the use of cobalt blue milk of magnesia bottles.
East of Sparta on state highway 21 is the Fort McCoy Military Reserve. There's not really much to see except a couple of Tank Crossing signs. One says "TANK CROSSING" while the other just shows a black silhouette of a tank on a yellow background.
House on the Rock - one of the finest collections of things on the planet. A few miles south on Wisconsin Highway 23. Plan to spend at least four hours here. You must visit this place at least once before you die or your life will have been wasted.
Taliesin was Frank Lloyd Wright's school at some point. The architecture is pure Prairie. The gift shop has lots of pricey but neat Wright stuff. I didn't take the tour, but it is probably interesting.
Peck's Produce is somewhere between Spring Green and Mazomanie on U.S. 14. In addition to veggies and antiques and canned goods, Peck's has a good-size (and free) barnyard zoo. The goats will greedily take the corn (vending machines provided) from your hands, but the deer are more bashful. There are also ducks and pheasants and sheep and prairie dogs and a llama or two. And a giant jack-o-lantern.
The restroom is a portable one.
This is the Only Waunakee in the World. It says so right on the sign.
Kickapoo Indian Caverns are just down the highway from Wauzeka toward Prairie du Chien. This is a cute little mom and pop cave, with a cheesy gift shop covering the natural entrance. Keep your eyes open!
I really haven't been to many attractions at here, although there are several. I've visited the gift shop of Tommy Bartlett's Robot World and photographed the Pink Flamingo Motel.
I did visit the Mystery Spot, which is a fine traditional Mystery Spot (where the law of gravity does not apply!).
Copyright 1996-1998 by Craig S. Thom